To verify someone you met online, check that their photos, name and story hold up across independent sources, insist on a live video call early, watch for the common warning signs of a scam, and never send money to someone you have not met in person. If anything still feels wrong, a licensed investigator can confirm who the person really is before you go any further.
Most people you meet through dating apps, social media or online communities are exactly who they say they are. But the ones who are not can do serious damage. Australians reported more than $28.6 million in romance scam losses to Scamwatch in 2025, up 21.8 per cent on the year before, according to the National Anti-Scam Centre. A few careful checks early on cost very little and can save a great deal of money and heartache.
Why You Should Verify Someone You Met Online
Online relationships move quickly. Messages every day, shared plans and personal confidences can build real trust within weeks, often before two people have ever been in the same room. That speed is exactly what a scammer relies on.
Verification is not about suspicion for its own sake. It is about making sure the person you are investing time, emotion and possibly money in is real, honest about the basics, and safe to meet. The same principle applies whether the contact is a romantic interest, a new business partner met online, or someone offering an investment opportunity.
Step 1: Check Their Photos
Fake profiles almost always use stolen images. Run a reverse image search on the person’s profile photos using a tool such as Google Lens or TinEye. If the same pictures appear under a different name, on a modelling site or in a stock photo library, that is a strong red flag.
Also look at the photos themselves. A profile with only a handful of polished, professional-looking images, and none showing everyday life with friends or family, deserves a closer look.
Step 2: Test Their Story Against Public Information
Someone genuine leaves a consistent trail. Check whether the details they have shared line up:
- Does their name match a real LinkedIn profile, workplace or professional registration?
- Do their social media accounts go back years, with real friends interacting with them?
- Does the suburb or city they mention match what their accounts show?
- If they say they run a business, is it registered and does it have a real presence?
Small gaps are normal, because some people simply keep a low profile online. A pattern of gaps, contradictions or accounts created only weeks ago is not.
Step 3: Ask for a Live Video Call
A live video call is one of the simplest and most effective checks there is. Someone using stolen photos will usually find reasons to avoid it: a broken camera, a poor connection, a busy work schedule overseas. Repeated excuses are a warning sign on their own.
Be aware that technology has made faking video easier. Short or glitchy calls, a face that looks oddly smooth, or a person who will not move naturally or respond to simple requests can all suggest something is not right.
Step 4: Know the Warning Signs of a Scam
The National Anti-Scam Centre highlights a familiar set of tactics. Be cautious if the person:
- Becomes emotionally intense very quickly and seems to share all your interests
- Wants to move the conversation off the dating app or platform to a private messaging service
- Always has a reason they cannot meet, such as working offshore, military service or travel problems
- Starts asking for money, even small amounts, for an emergency, travel, a gift or an investment
- Pushes urgency or secrecy, or discourages you from talking to friends and family about them
- Offers investment tips or suggests cryptocurrency opportunities
Any request for money from someone you have never met in person should stop you in your tracks. That includes bank transfers, gift cards and cryptocurrency.
Step 5: Talk to Someone You Trust
People caught up in an online relationship often find it hard to see the warning signs from the inside. A trusted friend or family member can offer a clear second opinion. If the person you are talking to objects to you discussing them with others, treat that as a red flag in itself.
When to Use a Licensed Investigator to Verify Someone You Met Online
Sometimes your own checks are not enough to settle the question. You may have found nothing obviously wrong but still feel uneasy, or the stakes may be high, such as before moving in together, lending money, entering a business arrangement, or meeting in person for the first time.
A licensed investigator can lawfully confirm key facts, including:
- Whether the person is using their real name and identity
- Whether their claimed job, business or location is genuine
- Whether the same identity is linked to other profiles or aliases
- Whether there are public records that contradict what they have told you
This kind of identity check draws on the same skills as a professional background check. Our guide to how private investigators run background checks explains the method, and our article on background investigation costs in Australia sets out what to expect to pay. For broader research work, see our intelligence gathering service.
Any investigation must stay within the law. A licensed investigator works within the Privacy Act 1988 and state licensing rules, and will not hack accounts, access private messages or use deception to obtain personal records.
What to Do If You Think You Have Been Scammed
If you have already sent money or personal details, act quickly:
- Stop all contact and do not send anything further
- Contact your bank or payment provider straight away to try to stop or recover the payment
- Report the scam to Scamwatch and, where a crime has occurred, through ReportCyber
- Contact IDCARE, Australia’s national identity and cyber support service, if your identity documents may have been compromised
- Keep copies of messages, profiles and payment records
Being targeted is not a sign of foolishness. These schemes are run by organised and practised operators, and they deliberately target kind, trusting people.
How The Find Group Can Help
The Find Group is a licensed investigation agency led by a former Police Detective with more than 20 years of investigative experience. We help people across Australia check that the people in their lives are who they claim to be, with discretion and care.
Every enquiry is handled confidentially and ends with a clear written summary of what was confirmed and what was not. That gives you the facts you need to make an informed decision, whether that is moving forward with confidence or stepping away.
If you would like a second opinion on someone you met online, contact us for a confidential consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it legal to check someone’s background before meeting them?
Yes. Searching publicly available information is lawful, and a licensed investigator can carry out further enquiries within privacy and licensing laws. What is not lawful is accessing someone’s private accounts, messages or records without authority.
Will the person know they are being checked?
A properly conducted identity check is discreet. The person is not contacted or alerted as part of the process.
What if they refuse to video call?
One missed call is not proof of anything. Repeated refusals, especially combined with other warning signs such as money requests, are a strong reason to pause the relationship and seek advice.
Can you recover money already sent to a scammer?
Sometimes, if you act fast. Contact your bank immediately, as some transfers can be stopped or recalled. Recovery becomes much harder once funds have been moved overseas or converted into cryptocurrency.
This article is general information only. If you are in immediate danger, call 000. For scam reports, visit Scamwatch.
